Hun, you need to seriously let your mom and a professional know what is going on here. I've been there and done that (42 now) and it's NO FUN at all! Suicide is NOT an option, it hurts those that love you more than anything. Those that don't love you couldn't care less whether you live or die. No ONE and NOTHING is worth your life, it WILL get better in time. HONESTLY!!! Self mutilation solves nothing, been there done that too.

It doesn't really help!

Anxiety attacks and depression can be controlled with medications. I know, I've had to take them before. BUT everything will eventually pass. Just be honest with your parents/mom/doctor and let them know what is going on. It's a hard thing to do, but since you ARE reaching out on the internet, this means that you WANT help. Just tighten your belt buckle and tell your loved ones that you NEED help......they WILL help you! I KNOW.......i was in your shoes once or twice.

Good luck and God bless dear!