...and become more social in general? It is becoming ever clearer there are two sides of me. People see me one way, but inside I am terrified of making a mistake or embarrassing myself in public view. I am very unsure of myself. I am extremely sensitive to teasing and being criticized.

Four females have apparently shown interest in me this week. There were two girls at the theater and two women at the grocery store. They all smiled and made eye contact, but of course I did nothing.

I am breaking my own rules by not going where I am being invited. I am in the paradoxical situation of knowing what I should do but unable to act on it. Occasionally, I can rise above it but it doesn't last long. The cycle repeats.